So ok, I turned 33 last Tuesday. Big deal. I still miss the same things i missed 10, 15 years ago. I still listen to the same bunch of music I listened to 10, 15 years ago. I've lost important people, but met a lot of new ones since then. It's July 28, 3:08 am. Few of my really good friends were at my place last Tuesday. I made beef stew and mash for dinner. It was nice. It turned out to be a really lovely evening. Earlier, some of them were here again. All of us just fell in love with that indian coffee I'm soon gonna run out of. I decided to have whisky. It's been a while, having a long and loyal affair with rum coke and cerveza negra. i have forgotten how good whisky tastes like. pat metheny's last train home playing right now. yes, that's what i'm thinking. i can imagine the speed of the cymbals on this song is as fast as jack kerouac typing on the road on the teletype paper, almost without stopping. I'm amazed how my life actually turned out to be. I can't believe I have this job, these amazing people around me, these awesome songs on my iTunes. The stuff I have. The things I need. The things I want. Several things I still aspire for but what the hell. It'll happen. I'm amazed by how things just fell into place. Just by doing what you think is right, and what would make the people you care for really happy. That's all there is to it, really. Bliss is no science. No set of rules and guidelines. You think about the people you love, make them happy and happiness will just present itself to you. I forget it sometimes. Most of the the time actually. But I get moments like these. Alone at home, drinking whisky, smoking and listening to pat metheny. Then clarity, like lightning, hits you big time. Then you get the big picture. As big as the cosmos. And all the issues of everyday life become these little planets and stars. They become irrelevant in the greater scheme of the universe. And my dad was right. Carl Sagan was right. I can't even begin to explain how all these things in my life overwhelm me. In a fuckin good way. Where I am, what I've become, the family that I have and the whole extended family dynamics, the people I've grown to love and care for, the people who've made me laugh. It's amazing. Fuckin amazing. For all those times I've cried -- shallow reasons and otherwise. To whisky and pat metheny. To love and people lost. To love and people gained. I don't think I'm ready to ride my last train home just yet.
